would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's never too late to be topless.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
