remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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