Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
