i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
