are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
