I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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