Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
