dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize