Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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