I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
