You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
