Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
