fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
