apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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