She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
