Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
