Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
