dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
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I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
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I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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