i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize