we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
