what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
