I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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