the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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