Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
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she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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