Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
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