Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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