new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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