it was like his penis was on wheels.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
