NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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