Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize