Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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