I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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