I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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