I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Welp...herpes.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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