I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i will never coherently bang her
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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