My room smells like vodka and shame
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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