I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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