The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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