between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she peed on how many people?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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