He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
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It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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