I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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