I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize