So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
