Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
