how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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