using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
