Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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