I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
