I need help removing her.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
