My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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