i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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