Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
