your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
