the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize