so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
