ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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