Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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