we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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