whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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