and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize