I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Pants are for mortals
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
