drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
