her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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