i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
